A New Pair of Earplugs

            Today my Random Book of Devotions took me to Acts 26:13-19 where Paul is telling King Agrippa about what happened to him on the way to Damascus.  The whole point of the devotion today, is to tell your story to those God puts in your life.  Or your path.

            I love to talk.  I can get up in the morning with my motor revved and ready to talk your ear off.  If you know me at all, you probably know more about me than you want to.  I have no idea why I really feel you need and even want to know about my love affair with the color blue or with flowers.  But I do.  Lucky you!

            Now, when it comes to sharing my God stories, I clam up.  My co-workers don’t usually see God’s grace and power at work in my life.  I find it much easier to tell things about me that might make me look more like them.  Which, of course, I am, really.  I’m just forgiven and I’m supposed to be striving for Christ-likeness.

            That may be one reason I’m stuck on this “Groundhog Day” movie-like repetition thing.  God is saying, “You can do it” and when I show folks me instead of him, he says, “Next time you’ll get it” and moves me on. 

            I started a new job this week.  So far, I’m just a temp.  But there are several new people God has put in my path.  I have a brand new pair of ear plugs in my purse to dim the noise of 2 different hip hop stations playing on either side of me.  But I resolve to not completely distance myself from these people God has placed here.  I will look for opportunities to show them God’s grace and love at work in my life.

            Thank you, Lord, for the opportunities I know you are going to provide for me to share you.  Father, I pray my life is pleasing to you.  Cleanse me and guide me as I go forward.

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I think this is the Devotional Bible I have. 
                              And you just can't go wrong with Max Lucado.
                                                                   Get a plan.

Keep on reading...this is not Woe is me.

            I have moved at least 34 times.  From Kindergarten to 8^th grade there were 11 schools.  There were no lasting friendships made.  I was always the new kid and saying good-bye before you knew it. 

            Now, I’m 52 and with this last move, I’ve told God, I’m tired.  Please let me stop.  There are times, when I realize my youth is behind me and I’ve not accomplished what I wanted to and not where I’d like to be in my life.  I feel defeated. 

            This morning the title in my Random Book of Devotions was “God Has No Retirement Plan”.  It directed me to Joshua 14:10-13.  In this text they’re telling us of when Canaan, the Promised Land, was divided between the Israelites.  Caleb says here that he was 40 when God promised the land to them.  45 years later at 85 he chose a mountainous land inhabited by a people that would have to be driven out.  Caleb took God at his word.  God had promised and in spite of being 85 years old, Caleb believed God would provide the ability, strength, and resources to accomplish or just receive what God intended him to have.                       

            I serve the same God as Caleb.  (Makes me want to jump up and down!)  God gave me a specific promise 19 years ago.  And like the Israelites, I’ve had some desert wandering to do.  I haven’t realized the promise yet, but daily for 19 years it’s been with me.  God is faithful.  Caleb realized God’s promise for him because “he wholly followed God” (Joshua 14:14).  That’s what I want God to be able to say of me…that Renata received the promises God made to her because she wholly followed God.

            Heavenly Father, thank you for your promises and faithfulness.  Thank you for your provision.  Remind me, Lord, when I forget that you are not a spectator, but actively doing a work in my life.

Who I Am

     I've always had trouble understanding how grace works.  In recent months God has opened my eyes and understanding...a little.  He's made me to understand we are nothing without him and that he loves us in Christ.  When he looks at me, he sees his son, Christ.

     Ps. 130:3 says, "Lord, if you punished people for all their sins, no one would be left, Lord.  And Rom. 3:19 says that, "...the law only shows us our sin."


     Now, Eph. 1:3-13 lays it out for me.  It says:  IN CHRIST, God has given us every spiritual blessing in the heavenly world.  That is IN CHRIST, he chose us before the world was made so that we would be his holy people - people without blame before him.  Because of his love, God has already decided to make us his own children through Jesus Christ.  That was what he wanted and what pleased him, and it brings praise to God because of his wonderful grace.  God gave that grace to us freely, IN CHRIST, the one he loves.  IN CHRIST we are set free by the blood of his death, and so we have forgiveness of sins.  HOW RICH IS GOD'S GRACE, which he has given to us so fully and freely.  God with full wisdom and understanding let us know his secret purpose.  This was what God wanted and he planned to do it through Christ....... We are the first people who hoped in Christ and we were chosen so that we would praise to God's glory.  So it is with you.  When you heard the true teaching, the Good News about your salvation you believed in Christ.  And IN CHRIST, God put his special mark of ownership on you by giving you the Holy Spirit that he had promised. 

     Oh My Goodness!  That is so awesome!!!  God is good.  It may be that this is meant for me and me only... but I don't think so.  Is. 55:11 says that his word will not return to him void.  In other words it will accomplish what he intends it to.  I've been praying as I write this, that when you...whoever you is...when you read this you'll realize how important You are to HIM.  How much he loves you and wants you for his own. 

    Father, thank you for letting us know you love us.  That through your son, Jesus, we are precious to you.  Lead me closer to you, Lord.  I pray that others see you in me every day.

Me and Lindsay Lohan

            God has very distinctly told me to forget about my past…what’s gone on before.  And that he’s doing something new in my life.  Something that he’s already started the ball rolling on.

            Well, I’m inpatient.  Here I am!  I’ve moved 600 miles.  Pulled my heart kicking and screaming, I might add. But I’m here.  Doesn’t sound like it was cheerful obedience, does it? 

            I’m unemployed and sleeping in my best friend’s spare bedroom.  In other words you can reach me at Limbo, USA.

            I think I might have mentioned before that I’m in spiritual rehab.  That’s what it feels like.  God is having to reteach me how to live.  I suppose if my heart was cheerfully relearning then this would be a spiritual spa.  Relaxing at times, refreshing, and invigorating.  All in your perspective.  But I tend to do things the difficult way if there is one.  So for me it’s been a Lindsay Lohan-like experience.  Kinda court ordered.

            Yesterday God re-covered the potter working his clay and having to start over and reshape the lump into another vessel (Jer. 18:4).  He’s told me his mind should be in me (Phil. 2:5).  To praise HIM.  Just to praise him (Ps. 150:6).  And how my words are pretty weighty.  They can either heal or destroy; build up or tear down (Prov. 15:4).  The Father reminded me of when Jesus told his disciples that he, himself was a servant and asked them who was greater, the one at the table being served or the server (Luke 22:27).  Today he reminded me of the weapons that are mine to carry into battle when I leave Limbo USA and return to the world.  He says in 2 Corin. 13:5 that we, with our spiritual weapons capture every thought and make it obey Christ.  He said every thought.  Not just when we’re having a good day but every day.  Every thought.  Can you tell this is where I have trouble?  My thoughts.  I feel like Mrs. Lott.  Continually looking back over my shoulder at what I’m leaving behind.  And what was she seeing when she looked back?  Destruction.  When I look back I’m missing what The Creator of the Universe has set aside…a special delivery just for Renata.  Not something to snub my nose at.  I love surprises!

            So…with that said…there is a spot in Texas that I came to love.  I met wise people who loved me, taught and led me, and changed my life.  Showing me their servants’ hearts.  I’m extremely thankful for the time I spent there.  And of course, I left a broken dream of mine there.  It’s been hard for me to stop looking back at my shattered hopes for that dream.  But forward is healing and rebuilding.  It is my intention to capture EVERY thought and make it obey Christ.  I’m gonna see if I can turn this into a spa instead of rehab.

            Father, I love you.  Thank you for your wisdom and guidance.  For your instruction.  Cleanse my heart.  Make me ready to live the life you’ve picked out for me.  Make me able and ready to serve you. 

His Delight!

Whenever I've thought of how God must think of me, I imagined disappointment, displeasure, maybe even some anger.  Recently, however, I've come to the KNOWLEDGE that he sees me through his son's blood.  Romans 3:24 says we "are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus" (ESV).  So how could he see me as anything but righteous?  Wow!

I've never considered, though, that he delights in me.  That he likes me.  I see myself as a huge dork and life loser.  How can God delight in me?  Zephaniah 3:17 says:  The Lord your God is with you; the mighty one will save you.  He will rejoice over you.  You will rest in his love, he will sing and be joyful about you!

The Bible says it.  Therefore.  It. Is.  True.  The Almighty God issinging and is joyful over Renata and over you!

     Thank you Father for showing me again that you value me.  Thank you for being with me.  For hearing me when I talk to you and most fo all for talking to me.  Thank you for not leaving me alone on my journey.  You are with me.



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Psalm 16

Protect me God because I trust in you.  I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord".  Every good thing I have comes from you.  As for the Godly people in the world, they are the wonderful ones I enjoy.  But those who turn to idols will have much pain.  I will not offer blood to those idols or even speak their names.  No, the Lord is all I need.  He takes care of me.  My share in life has been pleasant.  My past has been beautiful.  I praise the Lord because he advised me.  Even at night, I feel his leading.  I keep the Lord before me always.  Because he is close by my side I will not be hurt.  So I rejoice and am glad.  Even my body has hope because you will not leave me in the grave.  You will not let your holy one rot.  You will teach me how to live a holy life.  Being with you will fill me with joy; at your right side I will find pleasure forever.

     I love you, Father, and trust you.


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If I Were God....

When you hear someone say that God told them something, or spoke to them, do you wonder how that can be? The Creator, speaking to an individual. Not a world leader or Billy Graham, but just a simple Joe or Jill. They don't seem to influence thousands, or hundreds, or even 50 people. But they claim the Almighty God stopped. Called their name. And spoke into the details of their seemingly insignificant life.

Hard to believe, isn't it? An out of work, over wieght, mistake prone grandmother having a meaningful conversation with...The God.

But that is exactly what is happening...to me. Can you imagine how eager I am to sit down each morning for my devotion...my quiet time...my God time? He meets me there. I mean, He's always with me, but in the quiet of the morning, before I start running errands or I let my thoughts get carried way by the demands of the day or by my fears...I sit and listen. He responds to what I've been talking to him about.

If I were God, I would definitely lose patience with me and others like me. God has told me of good things coming; he's told me of my purpose; he's told me there'll be flowers! And yet I still fear. I whine about no job, no home, my aching heart. OH MY GOSH!!! If I were God I would say, “HAVEN'T I ALREADY TOLD YOU?!? I'VE GOT PLANS FOR YOU! DON'T YOU LISTEN?!

But not God. When I cry over what he's already talked to me about, he stops and lovingly soothes me. Some of my mistakes like burning my tongue on my coffee will be forgotten by tomorrow, but others have longer lasting consequences. And as I live my days and weeks with those consequences, my Father is loving and patient. He tells me, “I've got it worked out for you.” He doesn't even remember my mistakes. He goes before me and lays out my life, full of love and purpose and even laughter. Full of good things.

I know that no matter what my life holds, He holds my life.

My Father, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For me not being in charge. Thank you for showing me how I am supposed to respond to others. Thank you for responding to little ol' me. You've shown me that in your eyes, I, Renata, covered in your Son's blood, am important to you. I don't understand it, but Father, I know it to be true. I love you.

He is Faithful!

I just wanna jump up and down and holler. Tell someone!

God is so faithful!

This morning I awoke at 5:30. My thoughts and heart on what I've left behind. I told God how much I hurt and shed a few tears. Then in an attempt to shake it off, I reached for my Source of Comfort and my Random Book of Devotions. When I opened my Bible the most amazing thing happened. My Heavenly Father put his arms around me and said, “

“Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Gasp! (It was hard for me to read the rest through my tears...) Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don't you see it? I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land. Isaiah 43:18 & 19.

God has spoken to me, telling me where he wants me to live. He has encouraged me with instructions once I arrived. I have still been fearful and sad...with the God of the Universe talking with Renata, personally. You'd think I would be ecstatic with the plans he has for me. That God, you know the Big Guy, laying out plans for me and telling me not only that everything will be ok but that it will be wonderful! I have been the typical emotional female that the Father has taken the time out to console and comfort.

I can't say it enough; God is so faithful!

Thank you so much Father. Thank you for arranging for me to have this out of date Random Book of Devotions. Thank you for arranging for me to read exactly what I need, when I need it.

Thank you, Lord for loving me enough to not leave me alone. For going through this change with me.

Today I will lift my eyes to you and sing praises. You are my strength!

It's All About Me---NOT!

Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God.

Ps. 146:5

I've been sad. 

Life has not been going the way I want it to. I feel like a 2 year old who doesn't get to watch her favorite cartoon and crumples to the floor, sobbing and wailing. Heartbroken.

I've been doing some sobbing and wailing to God lately. I've felt ashamed, but did it all the same.

Isaiah 55:12 says, So you will go out with joy and be led out in peace. The mountains and hills burst into song before you, all the trees in the fields will clap their hands.

And 1 Thes. 5:16-18. Always be joyful. Pray continually, and give thanks whatever happens. This is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus.

Heb. 13:1-5 So through Jesus let us always offer to God our sacrifice of praise.

I've known in my head all along that God is directing my steps, but it still doesn't change the fact that I want what I want. Regardless of how bad it may be for me or the fact that something wonderful is in store for me by obeying him.

And besides all that ...it is not all about me. Or even you. I was somewhat shocked and a little dismayed when the Sunday School teacher at Brazos Meadows said that a few weeks ago.

Rev. 7:9-12 clears it up for me. It says, ...I looked, and there was a great number of people, so many that no one could count them. They were from every nation, tribe, people, and language of the earth. They were all standing before the throne and before the lamb, wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands. They were shouting in a loud voice “Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.” All the angels were standing around the throne and the elders and the four living creatures. They all bowed down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying Amen! Praise, glory, wisdom, thanks, honor, power, and strength belong to our God forever and ever. Amen!

In other words, I'm not here to get the most and the best for me out of life. I'm here to bring glory to God. (Wow does God have his work cut out for him!)

In spite of the fact that I'm here to bring glory to God, he tells me... if God is for me who can be against me? (Rom 8:31)  He bends down to take care of me, meet my needs and even fulfill my desires.

Father God, forgive me for being so me centered. Please Lord, continue to reveal yourself to me and remind me of my purpose here. To bring you glory. I pray Lord, that you search me and draw me closer to you. Thank you Heavenly Father for loving me and for concerning yourself with the details of my life.