Trust & Obey

  Trust and obey

    For there’s no other way..

To be happy in Jesus

    But to trust and obey

             

   Trust in the Lord and do good

So shalt thou dwell in the land

And verily thou shalt be fed.

Delight thyself also in the Lord

And he shall give thee the desires

   Of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the Lord;

trust also in him,

and he shall bring it to pass.  Ps 37:3-5

Trust Me..

                The desert and dry land will become happy;

The desert will be glad and will produce flowers.  Is. 35:1

Trust Me..

                A road will be there;

 This highway will be called

“The Road to Being Holy.”  Is. 35:8

Trust Me..

   The Lord says forget what happened before

And do not think about the past. 

Look at the new thing I am going to do. 

It’s already happening. 

Don’t you see it?

I will make a road in the desert

 and rivers in the dry land.  Is. 43:18-19

To trust means I can rest.  Just lean back and rest in Him.  My heart rate doesn’t accelerate; my eyes don’t dart back and forth with worry.  I can close my eyes and rest.   Trusting that God’s got this.  He doesn’t need my help and he can see down the road, to what life will bring me or where he wants my life to go.  He knows how to prepare me.  He knows how best to shape me. 

There are things in my life I’ve ranted or cried over.  Situations that I’ve stewed about.  I’ve harbored hurt, resentment, and hard feelings.  God doesn’t want me to wallow in these things.  But these feelings and experiences are what has shaped me.  And while the me standing in front of you now may not be all that great; God isn’t finished with me.  And all this STUFF, this baggage…He’ll use.  Even the ugliest things I’ve done or that have been done to me will be used for something beautiful.     

The trusting and obeying doesn’t come easy, to say the least.  Daily, I remind myself that that’s what God has asked me to do right now.

                Trust me, Renata.

                                Obey me, Renata.

So I stand here…

                I’ve wiped my tears (for the most part).

                I trust God, the Father loves me.

                                Delights, even, in me.

                                                He wants good for me,

                                And I will obey (we all know how tough that one is).

I am where He wants me.

I am trying to open myself to Him to change me.

                Please….change me!

Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving me so much that you’ve told me I am your portion, your delight, even.  Father, I know I can trust you with my heart, with my dreams and desires.  Thank you, Lord, for calming my heart.  Lead me to be the woman you want me to be.  Doing what you want me to do.  Amen

Here...You Take The Reigns

About a month after I got to Albuquerque I found a job!  The job at the doctors’ office was right up my alley.  I was able to use the skills I’ve learned over the last several years doing something I enjoyed.  The pay was pretty good.  I was able to catch up on my car payments.  And I now only have one month’s payment and the car will be paid off!  Yeaaaaa!

The doctors’ office is having money problems of their own and cut all the employees’ pay by 10%.  Everyone, that is, except the new girl.  That’s me.  Me, they cut 100%. 

My car that will be paid for with just one more payment...needs the transmission rebuilt.  To the tune of $1200 to $2400. 

And of course, I’m still staying with friends.  And my belongings are in storage 600 miles away. 

It seems all that I did have, I no longer do.  Poor me.  Can you tell I tend to feel sorry for myself?

I can say though, that no matter what comes my way….

            He is my God.

            He is my Protector.

            He is my Provider.

            He sees me and He cares for me.

When Jesus and the disciples were crossing the lake (Mark 4:35–41) and the storm came.  The disciples woke Jesus up and asked him, “Don’t you care that we will drown?”

Isaiah 63:9 says when I suffer, so does He. 

I Peter 5:7 tells us we can give all our worries and concerns to Him because HE cares for us. 

Does He care? 

YES! He Cares!

Just be still and listen.  Even if your world is upside down, His isn’t.  He reigns.  He’s in control.  Good thing!  This life sometimes feels like we’re on a runaway stage coach.  Careening out of control.

But…

Everything we’re going through….everything we’ve gone through (and some of us have gone through some pretty nasty stuff) He can make something wonderful from it. 

Some of us have made choices we’re ashamed of.  That we’d just as soon not remember.  I know, I have.

God has not been asleep.  He wasn’t dozing when that awful thing happened to us.  He saw.  He sees.  He knows what and who will come into our lives around the corner.  He sees the end. 

God can take that awful thing and actually use it in our lives.  That horrible thing will be the stuff beautiful flowers grow from.  Hard to imagine, I know; but I’ve seen Him do it in my life.  And He’s not finished.  There’s still more flowers to come.

This life is hard, to say the least, but let God drive.  Trust Him.  He loves you and has a plan for you. 

            Heavenly Father, Thank you for being my Provider and my source of peace.  Help me, Lord, to trust you when life seems out of control.  Father, I pray that I will always sing praises to you even when life ain’t so grand.  Thank you for being in control and for using these tough times for tomorrows' flowers.

The Facts, Ma'am. Just The Facts.

Sixteen years ago I was single, had 3 children and made $7.50 an hour, if that.  I told God I wanted to move to Albuquerque.  My best friend lived there.  It was the city of my youth.  It was my Utopia.  And it was about 1000 miles away. 

There was no way I could get there and make a go of it with 3 kids, no money, and no family there.  I began to pray about it and pack.  I fasted.  I read my Bible.  I sought wise counsel from my pastor and the chaplain at work.  It seemed an impossible fete, though. 

I cold called the hospitals and was actually hired over the phone.  God spoke to me almost as if I could see him standing in front of me.  I can remember getting…well…ticked and kinda yelling …at God one afternoon.  I raised my voice in frustration, anyway.  I didn’t know exactly what it was like to be spoken to by God but surely it wasn’t like this.  A literal conversation!?!  As I read the Bible it was as if he responded to my very questions right there on the pages.  God spoke to me, went before me, opened doors, provided cash.  The day before my last day at work my co-workers collected a cash gift for me.  I don’t remember exactly how much it was, maybe $150 or $200.  The next morning on my way to work for the last time, I thanked God for the money and told him I would need more.  I didn’t tell anyone except him that I needed more money.  Before the day was over I had promise of another $1000 from an unexpected source.  It came the day we loaded the truck. 

I lived in Albuquerque for 8 years.  I’ve moved a few times since then, never rally seeking God’s direction about where I was going, until a few months ago.  You already know where he led me or sent me.  This time I wasn’t asking to come here; in fact I wanted to stay where I was. 

So, I find myself back where I started, sort of.  Where he directed, led, paved the way to, the first time I really sought him.  When I sought God, I saw that God is here.  Now.  Right next to me.  Speaking to me…if I give him the time of day.  If I stop long enough to listen to him. 

I don’t know how we can ever go back to life the way it was after we’ve been with God.  After the Creator of the Universe stops to talk to you, how can you possibly act like it never happened?  But I know you can.  I did. 

Today, I was sent to an interview at the place I worked when I left Albuquerque, the last time.  I don’t know if I’ll get this job.  But it made me feel like I’ve come full circle.  I believe I am here by God’s design.  I don’t know what God has in store for me; not sure I want to know.  But I know for certain he’s at work in Renata’s life.  He’ll walk through the calm times and the unhappy times with us. 

The Lord says, “Forget what happened before,

and do not think about the past

            Look at the new thing I am going to do.

                        It is already happening.  Don’t you see it?

            I will make a road in the desert

                        and rivers in the dry land.  Isaiah 43:18 & 19 (NCV)

          Heavenly Father, forgive me for ignoring you and not continuing to seek your guidance in my life.  Give me strength Father to face the lessons you are teaching me now.  I'm listening, God.

Desire-ectomy

Twenty years ago this spring God gave me a scripture with promise.  It was mine!  Had my name on it.  I’ve taken it out almost every day for the last twenty years and looked at it.  I’ve petted it, polished it and known that one day I would see the promise fulfilled.  I know God is faithful….He will fulfill that promise.

            I’m doing a Beth Moore study at my church.  We’re studying The Inheritance.  What is ours, simply because we belong to him.  Last night, Beth had some interesting comments.  She put some things into perspective for me.  She talked about how the children of Israel were afraid to cross the Jordan and take possession of God’s promise to them because the spies came back with reports of giants in the land.  She said we all have a river of fear between us and the realization of God’s promises to us.  Mmmmm.  She said we have to fight for what God has promised so that we can develop the muscle to hold on to it when the enemy tries to take it from us…or something to that effect.

            Well, that got me to thinking.  I immediately thought of the promise from twenty years ago.  God, Am I supposed to fight for this?  To stand on your promises?  To Pray for this, believing that I will receive (my interpretation of) that promise?

            I asked my small group to pray for direction in my praying.

            I woke up this morning ready to talk to God.  I pray pretty specific.  I needed direction on how to pray.  I’ll fast today, asking God to reveal his deep thoughts to me.  To guide me.  This will be my goal for the days to come.  He will answer me.  I may have to tarry, to fast some more, to seek him.  OOOH, My God Has Brought Me Sooo Far.  OOOH, How I Have Grown In Him.

            I kinda hate it when he has to remind me, you’re not as hot as you think you are.  I feel a little like Edith Ann sitting in the chair she hasn’t quite grown into yet.

            My scripture with promise is….Are you ready?

           

Delight thyself in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. 

Ps. 37:4

            I have trouble juggling the “Delight thyself in the Lord” part with “The desires of my heart” part. I mean, it’s my heart’s desire.  This morning, I hear him saying, “Delight in me and the desires of your heart will become to…delight in me”.

            There may be more to the desires of my heart thing.  But I think my Father just told me to focus on delighting in him.  Period.  Now the object of my heart’s desire will not just supernaturally disappear, but I believe what I’m hearing is rather than giving the object  of my heart’s desire to him, I must give him…trust him with the desires of my heart.  My dreams.  It’s possible he may change them and give them back to me refashioned.

            I kinda liked it better when I could piously give God the people in my life that are hurting and I couldn’t change and ask him to heal them, change them.  But what he wants if for me to give him my heart so that he can change me, heal me.  

            My honest reaction is both, ”WOW!  GOD!  Do a work in me!  As well as, “OH POO!  Not that God.  Not that.

            Father, I asked for direction and Lord, just like you’ve been doing, you spoke to me.  Thank you, Lord God, Creator of the Universe for speaking to me.  For loving me. 

            Father, I give you the desires of my heart.  I give you my dreams.  God make my heart’s desire to delight in you.

            Help me to trust you with my heart.

            Help me to walk in obedience.

Say Cheese!

       If my life has a mission statement it might be, at least in part, Acts 4:13.  the last part of this says, "Then they realized that Peter and John had been with Jesus".

       I am not photogenic.  I've always said when I have my picture taken that it looks like a Mack truck stopped a little too close to my face.  But there are two pictures on my desk that are different.  It's still me, so it's not perfection by any means.  In them, I'm with family.  Now, if I know someone's gonna take my picture, I smile.  It usually does not help the final outcome.  But there's something different about these two pictures.  I'm with people I love, but it's more than that.

       I love the picture taker.  I am focused on him.  When I look at my face in these pics I can see a reflection of him.  Not his shape, but you can look at me and see that I had spent time with him. 

       Yep!  My life is a parable!

       My goal is that my very person reflect Jesus.  My eyes, my expression, my smile.  I want others to see me and say, "I realize that Renata has been with Jesus".

     Father God, I love you.  I want to spend time with and get to know you.  Lord, I want to bask in your presence and walk into life changed.        

Word of the Day....Delight

This morning the little flip calendar on my desk said we should love God with such intensity that it makes any other love that we have look like hatred.  That is definitely not a quote…but you get the message.  Not exactly a church doctrine but it did open my eyes to what he wants from me.  I’ve read the scriptures that say, Thou shalt have no other God before me. Those that tell me God is a jealous God; seek ye first the kingdom of God…., delight thyself in the Lord.  But this little calendar put it in terms that hit close to home. 

Can you think of a time when one particular person held your attention?  When your friends didn’t hear from you very often?  You didn’t see your family often?  That one person was practically your whole world. 

It was an eye-opening statement.  I think I understand a little better what God wants now.  Delight.  Yeah, I’ve felt that before. 

Delight is that feeling you feel when you get to be with that one special person. 

Delight is that feeling you feel just thinking about that special person.

Euphoria.  I can’t believe this wonderful person is in my life!

I can’t wait to wake up and spend time with that person.

I go to sleep with a smile on my face at the thought of that person.

That person is the reason I smile.

I laugh …often in the presence of that person.

Almost nothing bothers me when I am with this person.

It took me years to understand delight.  But I think I get it now.

My Heavenly Father wants to be that One Special Person in my life. 

He wants me to run to him….first

            With my smiles, my fears, my tears. 

             With delight…euphoria even.      

O Heavenly Father, You are an Awesome God!  You lead me, patiently showing me the way to you.  Thank you for your words to me, for your comfort.  I choose you, Lord. 

  

The Cock's Crow Signals a New Day...But Really? A Rooster?

When the cock crowed this morning (really. I accidentally set my alarm clock to the obnoxious rooster setting). Anyway, when the cock crowed, my eyes flew open and my first thought was Ephesians 1-4-22. I picked up my Bible and read. Ephesians 1:22, ..then Ephesians 4:22....or should it be Ephesians chapter 1 through chapter 4, verse 22. Ok, so I think it's supposed to be the latter.

The first thing that jumped off the page was in chapter 1, verse 21 & 22.

God has put Christ over all rulers, authorities, powers, and kings, not only in this world but also in the next. God put everything under his power and made him the head over everything

for the church (OK....We....Are....The...Church...so Jesus is over everything in us.) which is Christ's body. (whether we're at work, home with the fam or on vacation..WE ARE CHRIST'S

BODY) The church is filled with Christ and Christ fills everything in everyway.

That last part, He fills everything in everyway. That's what I want...for him to fill every part of me in every way possible. That's not unreasonable. I want my very pores to ooze Jesus. Not like a holier, above everyone else, holy roller, but I want people, both those that are his already and those that don't know him or me to be able to tell I've been with Jesus.

A result of this new understanding of who I am in Christ is I can no longer in good conscience be sarcastically rude to the person at the drive up window or that faceless person on the other end of the phone. I belong to him. I need to act like it.

Lord, please, fill me in everyway. Open my eyes to see and my ears to hear all that you are and all that you have for me to do. Thank you Lord.

Morning, Noon, & Night...He Hears Me.

Morning, noon, & night I am troubled and upset, but he will listen to me. Ps. 55:17

He paid attention to me, so I will call to him for help as long as I live. Ps. 116:2

I read these Psalms then, read my last journal entry. I was having a difficult time with some heart hurts. I poured my heart out to God, basically pleading with him to take away this pain...and to hurry up! I cried (as I so easily do).

Today in the dark of the morning he is saying, “I'm still here and I hear you. Between now

and healing, talk to me. Don't stop!”

O, Heavenly Father, I love you. Thank you Lord, that you love me like no other. Thank you Lord, that you can and do speak specifically to me. I lay my burdens down at your feet again, today. I most probably will lay the same ones again down tomorrow. But I know you'll be there. Not as a silent God watching creation; but as my Father who cares about me and is actively helping me and speaking to me.

Who Did He Come For? Mmmmmmm......

Ok…last week at the emergency room, God showed me people he loves and who need him.  Today he told me in my Random Book of Devotions to “Point People to Christ”.  I think I see a pattern.

            I don’t foresee worldwide recognition like Mother Teresa for my work with the poor, overlooked, and needy.  God is not necessarily calling me to work with the underprivileged.  But he very definitely wants me to see who he loves and to see who needs him.  He wants me to see who Jesus died for.

            God’s Son did not come to die for the churched.  For the saints.  He came to die for those who do not know him.  Maybe they have never been exposed to him at all.  They might look and act like me…but then again, they just might not.

            God wants me to see….                      

                        The illegal alien

            As someone The Creator loves.

            He wants me to see

                        The Muslim

            As someone he wants as his own.

                        The gang member…

            The Father longs for him.

                        The ladies I work with…

                                    They have good jobs,  

                                    Husbands,

                                    Families,

                                    And smiles on their faces,

                                    But they don’t know Jesus.

                       

            It may be that it is my job to introduce them to a life with Jesus in it.  To allow them to see God’s love for each of us through my life.

            Lord, cause me to be aware of those around me who don’t know you.  Cause me, Father to be very aware that you…The King…The Creator of All…that you want them, you love them.  Lord, help me to not judge others.  Help me to not be annoyed at their behavior or languages, of their differences.  But Lord, teach me to love them through your eyes.   Thank you, Father, for loving me and for dying for me. 
      
                

           

Who ... or What Is It That I Worship?

                                                                       

            My devotion today told me God is dependable.  Oh, that’s not the way the Bible words it.  Psalm 135:13 says; Thy name, O Lord, endureth for ever; and thy memorial, O Lord, throughout all generations.

            I can depend on him.  I may not always understand him but he loves me more than my mamma, even more than I love me.

            The psalmist compared God’s steadfastness or his eternal-ness (I know, it’s not a word!) to idols.  How can something that’s made by human hands endure?  Endure like God does?  For that matter, the created loved ones around will pass, as well.  If we’re not looking to the One Creator to meet all our needs then…well,…we’re looking to something else…that would be an idol.  Anything or anyone we give our devotion to …anything or anyone that displaces God from the center of our lives…our thoughts…that we give more attention than we give to God.  Sure, we all have a life; responsibilities that take up our days.  But God should be the reason we live our lives.  God should be, in fact, we need God to be the ultimate reason we cook for our families or go to work.  It should be our Heavenly Father’s love for us that leaks out of us when we’re with our families or even talking to the mechanic about our car.

            Of course, these words I’ve written and illustrations I’ve used are ultimately for my benefit.  My Father has been trying to show me that anything…ANYTHING…that stands between me and him is an idol.  Something I worship.

            O Father, forgive me for looking away from you for the source of my happiness.  Lord, I for sure don’t understand all your ways; but I know you’ve loved me from before Calvary.  The reminders aren’t always pleasant, but please help me to see and recognize your reminders to refocus on you.  Thank you for being my foundation for living.  My Cornerstone.

                                                                    

Changes...or... A New Year, A New Me?

            Are you aware that change isn’t always pleasant?  Or fun?  And that learning new things can make you feel like your brain is jello?

           

            I said a few weeks ago that, things…they are a changing.  Boy, I had no idea!

            Now, I don’t necessarily believe that everything that happens to us is for a reason.  Pre-ordained, if you will.  This world is imperfect.  Sometimes we just get sick, or get a flat tire…or lose a job.  I know we can learn something from every occurrence if we will, but sometimes things just happen.  Then…there are those other times.

            A month ago I told you about Alana, my next door neighbor in the apartments I used to live in.  God revealed a missed opportunity.  He also showed me that I had judged Alana and found her now quite good enough to befriend.  Although, I’ve been known to staunchly defend the nameless, faceless less fortunate…or just someone who isn’t like me.  But give them a face, a name and maybe a few tattoos or a bandana, an unpleasant odor, or a vocabulary peppered with words that make me cringe and I tend to look away.  Not quite meet their eyes.  I might turn to get away from the smell.

            Lately, God’s been talking to me about sharing Him.  About what or who others see when they see me.  I’d like to think they see Jesus when they look at me. 

            I recently read a book that posed a challenging question.  What would happen if your heart got a day off and Jesus’ heart took its place…just for a day?  None of your circumstances changed; it would still be you but with Jesus’ heart walking through your day.  All of the seemingly insignificant words we say…would they still be said?  Might I spend an hour (or more) playing cards on the computer instead of making better use of my time?  Mmmmmm….it made me think.

            I’m sick…I think I have bronchitis.  But since I don’t have letters after my name...you know, like M.D., I need someone who does to write me a prescription.  And since I am new to town, with no regular doctor or insurance for that matter…I find myself at the local emergency room.  I have spent over 15 hours this week waiting for a doctor in the waiting area of said emergency room.  I asked God why I have to do this.  You know…kind of whined a bit.

            People here are different than me.  Most of them have a different skin color and at the very least, an accent when they talk.  And I don't mean Texan.  Some of them don’t even speak the same language.  Others have come in from the cold for a warm place to rest.  I can tell the guy next to me hasn’t cleaned up in a while.  Soon someone will come wake him for a ride to one of the shelters.  I heard Westside shelter is giving away some very nice clothes.  At least one of them I didn’t recognize as homeless because he was dressed so nice.  That was the one who is calmly convinced he’s got an intracranial brain bleed, and has very strong opinions of terrorists and alien life forms. 

            I’ve just come to try and convince someone to give me an antibiotic.  I’ll even tell them exactly what kind…if they’ll listen.  Somehow, I don’t see it happening exactly like that. 

            As I sat there, though for those 15 hours, I encountered drunks…in need.  A belligerent young homeless man looking for a cigarette…in need.  A sick gang member and his girlfriend…also, in need.  There was a mother with her little boy who was asking if his daddy’s was gonna wake up.  They were in need. 

            I look at the lady across the way who I think is homeless, and wonder what she would look like if her life circumstances had been different or what would I end up like if my circumstances were like hers?

            As I sit at my desk at work, I think to myself, I sure wish I could work with Christians or I wish I could encounter at the coffee shop folks getting together with their Bibles over a cup.  But Here is different from where I was before.  I don’t know why or what God has planned but I can tell he’s about to wake me up.  God didn’t intend for us to live in communes with only like-minded people around us.  He told us to be a light to others.  Matthew 5:14 & 16 says, “You are the light that gives light to the world.  A city that is built on a hill cannot be hidden.  ….  In the same way, you should be a light for other people.  Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven. 

            God also gave us Mark 16:15.  GO YE INTO ALL THE WORLD AND PREACH THE GOSPEL TO EVERY CREATURE.

            Ok, so we don’t all have to be preachers.  But we are supposed to let our lights shine.  Who am I supposed to let see my light?  Those folks in the E.R. or the people I work with every day. 

            God told me he’s doing a new work in my life.  I was thinking something along the lines of a quaint little house with trees, a fence, a place for flowers and then maybe a fella who adores Him, then me.  But instead, I think I better clean out my ears and put my glasses on so I don’t miss anything.  I’m in school!  Oh, I don’t doubt God has some wonderful things in store for me.  He’s shared a few of them with me.  But my purpose in life isn’t to keep God busy with my wish list.  I have a job.  I am an Illuminator.  And so are you.

            Heavenly Father, cause my ears to hear and my eyes to see your plan for me.  At least the next step you want me to take.  Lord, show me opportunities to share you and then the words and the courage to do so.  Thank you Father for letting me see you actually doing a work in my life.