Desire-ectomy

Twenty years ago this spring God gave me a scripture with promise.  It was mine!  Had my name on it.  I’ve taken it out almost every day for the last twenty years and looked at it.  I’ve petted it, polished it and known that one day I would see the promise fulfilled.  I know God is faithful….He will fulfill that promise.

            I’m doing a Beth Moore study at my church.  We’re studying The Inheritance.  What is ours, simply because we belong to him.  Last night, Beth had some interesting comments.  She put some things into perspective for me.  She talked about how the children of Israel were afraid to cross the Jordan and take possession of God’s promise to them because the spies came back with reports of giants in the land.  She said we all have a river of fear between us and the realization of God’s promises to us.  Mmmmm.  She said we have to fight for what God has promised so that we can develop the muscle to hold on to it when the enemy tries to take it from us…or something to that effect.

            Well, that got me to thinking.  I immediately thought of the promise from twenty years ago.  God, Am I supposed to fight for this?  To stand on your promises?  To Pray for this, believing that I will receive (my interpretation of) that promise?

            I asked my small group to pray for direction in my praying.

            I woke up this morning ready to talk to God.  I pray pretty specific.  I needed direction on how to pray.  I’ll fast today, asking God to reveal his deep thoughts to me.  To guide me.  This will be my goal for the days to come.  He will answer me.  I may have to tarry, to fast some more, to seek him.  OOOH, My God Has Brought Me Sooo Far.  OOOH, How I Have Grown In Him.

            I kinda hate it when he has to remind me, you’re not as hot as you think you are.  I feel a little like Edith Ann sitting in the chair she hasn’t quite grown into yet.

            My scripture with promise is….Are you ready?

           

Delight thyself in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. 

Ps. 37:4

            I have trouble juggling the “Delight thyself in the Lord” part with “The desires of my heart” part. I mean, it’s my heart’s desire.  This morning, I hear him saying, “Delight in me and the desires of your heart will become to…delight in me”.

            There may be more to the desires of my heart thing.  But I think my Father just told me to focus on delighting in him.  Period.  Now the object of my heart’s desire will not just supernaturally disappear, but I believe what I’m hearing is rather than giving the object  of my heart’s desire to him, I must give him…trust him with the desires of my heart.  My dreams.  It’s possible he may change them and give them back to me refashioned.

            I kinda liked it better when I could piously give God the people in my life that are hurting and I couldn’t change and ask him to heal them, change them.  But what he wants if for me to give him my heart so that he can change me, heal me.  

            My honest reaction is both, ”WOW!  GOD!  Do a work in me!  As well as, “OH POO!  Not that God.  Not that.

            Father, I asked for direction and Lord, just like you’ve been doing, you spoke to me.  Thank you, Lord God, Creator of the Universe for speaking to me.  For loving me. 

            Father, I give you the desires of my heart.  I give you my dreams.  God make my heart’s desire to delight in you.

            Help me to trust you with my heart.

            Help me to walk in obedience.